Attitude vs. Value

One mistake that men often make (and that I have made myself) is attributing value to a woman purely based on her attractiveness.  You’ll see this for example where a guy says “this HB9 won’t answer my texts” or “she keeps telling me she’s busy”.  The guy rates her as a 9, but her attitude is a 1. 

Men will overlook a bad attitude just because a woman looks good, but think about this for a moment: what is more important?  What is more useful to you: a woman that is a 10 in looks but had a bad attitude or a woman that you’d rate as a 7 in looks but that has a very good, friendly and cooperative attitude?

With a woman that has a good and cooperative attitude you can have fun, enjoy whatever interactions you have, kiss, touch and maybe even have sex.  If a woman has a negative attitude, what can you do with her?  Absolutely nothing.  So a woman that has a bad attitude is effectively useless, no matter how good she looks.

When you see a girl, the first thing that you’ll notice is whether or not you find her physically attractive.  As men, we’re programmed to see this instantly from far away.  But that doesn’t make her valuable.  Her value to you could be zero or she could even have negative value if she has a bitchy attitude, wants to take advantage of you or is going to waste your time.  Her attitude is by far the most important factor.  Even an ugly girl with a pleasant attitude has infinitely more potential value than a bitchy woman.  She could at least be a friend.

I’ve found that keeping this in mind can improve the interactions that you have with women.  When you see an attractive woman, the first thing to do is evaluate her attitude.  The instant you detect a negative attitude, you should forget her and move on.  You do this before you approach her, during the approach and afterwards.  Don’t approach thinking that a girl has some kind of high value just because she looks good.  She might be worth nothing at all or even less than nothing. 

A bitchy woman literally has no value at all, so if a woman reacts to your approach with a negative attitude then you don’t need to feel rejected or that you lost something of value because she never really had any value in the first place.  She was a worthless bitch before you laid eyes on her and she will continue to be a worthless bitch after you leave.  The only women that have any value at all are those that cooperate.

Don’t confuse friendliness with cooperation

A woman that is unfriendly is clearly being uncooperative, but the reverse is not necessarily true.  Unfriendly behaviour obviously means that she’s totally useless.  But a person can be friendly and still not be cooperating. Because a woman’s potential usefulness depends on her level of cooperation and not just her friendliness, you need to find out as quickly as possible whether or not she is going to cooperate.

The way to find this out is by making a move early on and seeing how she reacts.  Essentially this is a kind of test and it should be first of many.  The next tests involve escalation.  This will show you not only whether she is cooperating, but to what extent.  You should only start to value a woman after she passes these tests.  By passing these tests she’s showing her value and her level of value.  If she doesn’t pass your tests, then you should discard her and refocus your energy elsewhere. 

You’re attitude should be similar to a person that is looking for diamonds in the river and that finds that what they thought might be a diamond is just a fake piece of glass.  Toss that junk back into the river and carry on looking.  Don’t hang on to it, refusing to accept the truth and hoping that it will magically change.  It won’t.

But a 9 is worth more than a 7

Not necessarily.  If a 9 has a bitchy attitude, her value is zero.  She is totally useless to you and not even worth having around.   Seriously, what use is she to you?  She won’t do anything for you and she’s not even pleasant to be around.  Now if you have a 7 and a 9 that both have equally good attitudes, that’s when the 9 is worth more than the 7.  But if that is the case then you don’t actually need to make a choice – you can have both of them.

Summing things up

If you a see a girl that you like, you should evaluate her attitude and see if she’s worth approaching.  Her looks need to pass whatever threshold you consider appropriate, but beyond that it doesn’t really matter whether she’s a 7 or a 10. She only has potential value at this stage and probably a low percentage probability of having any value at all.  Think of it as finding a stone on the ground which could be a diamond but also that could be a worthless piece of glass.  You have to pick it up and test it. 

The next stage is approaching with the mindset of finding out whether she has any real value at all.  If she’s unfriendly, her value is automatically zero.  If she’s friendly, you need to investigate further and find out if she’s actually going to be cooperative (i.e. interested in the same thing that you are, whatever that is) or if she’s just fool’s gold.    Don’t get stuck in the friend zone by thinking that friendliness equals attraction.  It does not.

Next is establishing whether or not there is cooperation and to what extent.  Only if you get genuine cooperation you can start to think that this woman might have some potential value.  If she is not cooperating (not answering messages, telling you that she’s busy, making excuses etc) then she most likely doesn’t have any value at all, no matter how good she looks, and you should stop investing your energy on her and find someone else.  You can’t turn glass into diamond just by hoping and waiting.

A bitchy woman = zero value, no matter how good she looks. 

A friendly but uncooperative woman = zero value, perhaps even negative value because she will waste your time

A woman that cooperates = huge value, as long as she passes your looks threshold. 

These are the woman that you need to look for continuously and when you do find them, make sure that you value them, appreciate them and don’t lose them because women like this are hard to find.

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