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Attention Whores

Today I am going to discuss the subject of Attention Whores.   An attention whore is a woman that doesn’t want to have sex with you but that goes out of her way to suck up your time and your attention. 

Attention whores by their nature are deceptive.  They want to do X but make you think that they want Y.  They want to stop you from touching, kissing or having sex with them but they don’t want you to realise that’s what they’re doing so they are extra subtle.  They want you to believe that they are interested in you (so that you will give them your time, attention and gifts), when actually this is not the case at all, so they won’t outright reject you. Instead, they will try to avoid situations in which you could have the opportunity to escalate.

The favourite habitat of attention whores is online.  They love to go onto dating websites, Instagram, facebook, Snapchat and Tinder where they can get attention from men without ever actually having to meet them in person.  Instagram is basically Attention Whore Central.  A lot of women seem to have graduated recently from Facebook to Instagram where average-looking girls can have “fans” and behave as if she were some kind of celebrity. So if you know a girl that only wants to chat on line and never wants to meet in person, if you hear the word “busy” too much but it seems that the only thing she’s busy with is facebook and Instagram, you know that you have met an attention whore on your hands.  The best thing you can do is just ignore her. 

Sometimes attention whores will meet up, but only because they see you as a source of free entertainment.  They might agree to meet you, but they will be careful never to give you the opportunity for any kind of escalation.  The easiest way for them to do this is by avoiding meeting you alone.  If there are other people around then you either won’t be able to escalate at all or will have to be concerned with their reactions and comments.

Attention whores are all over dating apps and Tinder.  Unlike normal women that only swipe right on the men that they’re sexually attracted to, these women swipe right on everyone because they just want attention and they don’t care where they get if from  This is why you are far more likely to meet these kinds of women online and you need to be quick at smoking them out.  If a woman is on Tinder looking for “friends”, then she’s definitely an attention whore. 

Smoking them out

If you are not sure where you stand, you need to smoke them out of the woodhouse.  These days men are taught never to do anything that makes a woman uncomfortable but actually this is part of the problem.  God forbid that a woman should ever feel uncomfortable, but if a man is uncomfortable then who cares?  Isn’t that how it is these days?  The same woman who will think that everyone has to stop what they are doing the moment she feels uncomfortable will say “boo hoo / grow up / be a man” if a man mentions that he is not feeling comfortable with a situation.

A woman is comfortable wasting your time, money and energy and using you for favours and comfort whilst you get nothing in return.  What you need to is to make her put up or shut up, which means that you’re going to be trying to escalate on her all of the time.  You’re attitude needs to be: if you don’t like it, leave.  If a woman doesn’t like being close to you, she doesn’t like you touching her or she doesn’t like kissing you, then you’re wasting your time even talking to her.  But to find that out you have to be willing to make her uncomfortable. 

She’s free to leave any time she likes, so if she’s uncomfortable then let her do that rather than backing down and accepting a non-sexual interaction.  The mistake a lot of men make is that they allow a woman to set limits and then spend time giving a woman attention and hanging out with her as friends.  Let her know that if she’s going to hang out with you, it’s going to get sexual and if she doesn’t want to do that then it’s not worth your time.  If she doesn’t want to meet alone, then don’t meet her.  And don’t talk to her online any more than necessary to set up the meeting.  Don’t spend time chatting on the phone, by text, by facebook or anything else because obviously online she can lap up your attention whilst avoiding giving you any opportunity to escalate.

Do your part, but no more

The main factor when it comes to efficiency is that you need to do your part, but no more.  Doing your part means approaching (whether online, in social settings or out in public) the women that you are interested in and then getting these women alone with you and escalating on them.  What you need to stop doing is refusing to take no for an answer and wasting time on women that have already shown that they are not interested or that are trying to manipulate you.  Doing more of the former helps you to do less of the latter, because if you continuously have more “raw material” coming in you will naturally be less inclined to try to feed off the “sludge”.  

The biggest mistake men make is spending their time trying to convince women that don’t like them or that don’t really value them to date or sleep with them and they do this because they find it difficult to approach and talk to new women. 

Being afraid of rejection is probably the biggest factor that is stopping you from having more success with women, rather than the fact that many women will reject you.  You need to lose this fear, otherwise you will never reach your full potential. One way to do it is to change the way you look at rejection.  You see, rejection and acceptance are actually two sides of the same coin. 

Let me give you an example so that you can see how this is true.  Imagine that you were in a class with 50 girls.  If you asked them out on a date, 40 of them would reject you and 10 would accept the invitation.  Now, if I were to do a survey on your behalf, I could give you the names of the girls that rejected you or those that accepted your invitation.  It wouldn’t matter if I told you which girls liked you or which girls didn’t because from knowing the answer to one question you would know the answer to the other.  And each time I asked a girl I would be getting you closer to your objective of knowing which girls liked you in the class regardless of whether their answer was yes or no.  If I was the one asking on your behalf, I wouldn’t care about the answers but if you had to ask yourself you might feel bad each time the answer was no.  However, getting those “no’s” is just as much part of the work as getting the “yeses”. 

You wouldn’t ask me to only ask the girls that you think might like you, because you don’t want me to hear a girl say “no”.  You would want me to survey the whole class and give you the full picture.  So why is it so hard when you are the one that has to ask the question?  It is because you are making it personal and feeling some kind of pain when the answer is not as you would like instead of seeing the full picture, which you would if you could just look at a list of names.  Even if the whole class said no, you could just move on to another class and maybe you’d have better luck there.  If you’re getting a 1% yield you just increase the volume of input so that the 1% gives you what you need.  But in real life what happens is that you don’t get all of the information, you only ask one or two and if you get rejection then you stop asking, denying yourself the opportunity to get to all the yeses that were there. 

Knowing the answer to the question, whether the answer is yes or no, is what matters.  When you make that the objective then every approach is a success. 

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