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Put the smartphone down

Let me have your attention for a moment. ‘Cause you’re talking about what…you’re talking ’bout…bitching about that same-day lay you shot, some bitch didn’t want to put out, some slut didn’t want what you’re selling, some broad you’re trying to screw, so forth, let’s talk about something important. Are you all here? Well, I’m going anyway. Let’s talk about something important.

Put that Smartphone down. Swiping’s for Chads only. You think I’m fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I’m here from London. I’m here from Mystery Method. And I’m here on a mission of mercy. Your name’s Don Juan? You call yourself a Pickup Artist, you son of a bitch?

AFC: I don’t gotta listen to this shit.

You certainly don’t pal ’cause the good news is you’re about to be castrated. The bad news is you got all you got, just one week to regain your dick, starting with tonight, starting with tonight’s sluts.

Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. ‘Cause we’re adding a little something to this month’s banging contest. As you all know, first prize is a Kim Kardashian lookalike. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is a fat chick. Third prize is inceldom for life.

Do you get the picture? Are you laughing now? You got leads. Facebook paid good money. Get their numbers to bang them. You can’t close the leads you’re given, you can’t close shit, you are shit, hit the bricks pal and beat it in the bathroom, ’cause you are going out.

AFC3: The leads are weak.

The leads are weak? The fucking leads are weak? You’re weak. I’ve been in this game for 15 years …

AFC2: What’s your name?

Fuuck you, that’s my name. You know why mister? Cause you drove a moped to get here, whilst I banged an 800 dollar stripper in the back of a BMW. That’s my name. (To AFC) And your name is you’re wanting. You can’t play in the man’s game, you can’t close them? Then go home and tell your mom your troubles.

Because only one thing counts in this life. Get them to suck on the dick which is spotted. You hear me, you fucking faggots? ABC. A, Always, B, Be, C, Closing. Always be closing. Always be closing. AIDA. Attention. Interest. Decision. Action. Attention. Do I have your attention? Interest. Are you interested? I know you are ’cause it’s fuuuck or masturbate. You close or you hit the bricks. Decision. Have you made your decision for Christ? And action. AIDA.

Get out there. You got the prospects coming in, you think they came in to get out of the rain? A broad don’t walk into a bar unless she wants some dick. They’re sitting out there waiting to give you their pussies. Are you going to take it? Are you man enough to take it?

(To AFC) What’s the problem, pal?

AFC: You, boss, you’re such a Chad, you bang so much, how come you’re coming down here and wasting your time with such a bunch of bums?

You see this finger? You see this finger? AFC: Yeah. This finger has been through more tunnels than your car. I banged 270 broads last year, how many did you bang? You see pal, that’s who I am, and you’re nothing. Nice guy? I don’t give a shit. Good father. Fuuck you, go home and play with your kids. You want to get laid this year, close.

You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cock-sucker. If you can’t take this, how can you take the abuse you get from a slut? If you don’t like it, leave. I can go out there tonight, with the materials you got, and get myself 15 numbers and end up banging half of them. Tonight. In two hours. Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise. A-I-D-A-.

Get mad you son-of-a-bitches. Get mad. You know what it takes to do cold approach? It takes brass balls to do cold approach.

Go and do likewise, gents. The pussy’s out there.  If you pick it up, it’s yours.  If you don’t, I got no sympathy for you. You want to go up to those sluts tonight and close, close, it’s yours. If not, you’re going to be cumming into a kleenex. And you know what you’ll be saying. Bunch of losers sitting around in a bar: ”Oh yeah, I used to be a pickup artist. It’s a tough racket.”

These are the new leads. These are the Tinder leads. And to you, they’re gold and you don’t get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. They’re for Closers.

I’d wish you good luck on Tinder, but you wouldn’t know what to do with it if you got it.

(To AFC) And to answer your question, pal: Why am I here? I came here because Tyler and Mystery asked me to, they asked me for a favor. I said here’s the real favor: follow my advice and ban your fucking ass from the internet because an incel is an incel.

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